This is my post for one-shot wednesday…hosted by Pete Marshall this week…
sorry this poem is kind of long…but hope you like it…
Treasure
The first time I held you
In the crook of my arm
My little pink bundle
You let out a yawn
And I thought you were
The prettiest baby there was
When you were toothing
You would chew my chain
And sleep with your head on my shoulder
When you could crawl
You looked up at your dad
And trailed him everywhere
When you came down with a fever
You would cry and scream for me
To stay by your side till you sleep
I can picture your warm brown eyes
And your sunny summer frock
As you look guiltily up at me
Covered from head to toe in mud
I think of your pigtails swinging
As you chase the butterflies
And I smile thro’ the kitchen window
As you laugh and dance around
You turn at the school gates
And looked worriedly at me
I smile and wave you on
When in my heart
I’m as worried as you are
I soothe you thro your tears
When your heart is broken
for the very first time
I wished that I could hit
The boy who had hurt my child
I wipe a tear and clap so hard
As you hold your degree high
Smiling widely in your graduation robes
One day after work,
You stand at the kitchen door
I know there is something
You’d like to tell Dad and me
The doorbell rings
And a tall handsome man enters
If we would agree, this is my groom
You say…I glance apprehensively at your father
Then I look into your man’s eyes
I see his love for you shining there
And then I hug you and smile thro’ my tears
My baby is all grown up
4 years later
My baby chases her own little one
And I look back to the day
To see a child with flying pigtails
And one day
When I grow old and die
You would cry by my graveside
But here I am
Standing by yours
My arms feel so empty
And my heart is so heavy
As I think of what could have been
And I give you up
A day after you were born
#1 by pete marshall on August 19, 2010 - 8:42 AM
that was a very sad poem, you built me up and i could see my relationship with my daughter within your words, but then the end..it really upset me..i am grateful for you sharing this but my heart goes out to you..pete
#2 by hoiden on August 21, 2010 - 1:47 AM
thanks Pete..
#3 by brian on August 19, 2010 - 10:10 AM
oh tight close…sames as pete i was giving you my heart and then it was dashed away…nicely played one shot!
#4 by deadpoet88 on August 19, 2010 - 10:16 AM
This was very sad 😦 Still it was so beautiful, just imagining what a beautiful life that could’ve been. No one should go through that kind of pain, must be terrible. Great poem.
#5 by hoiden on August 21, 2010 - 1:48 AM
Yes, no one shud go thro anything like this…thanks:)
#6 by carolina on August 19, 2010 - 12:05 PM
This is heart wrenching…excuse me as i go for a good cry.
#7 by Kavita on August 19, 2010 - 5:48 PM
Oh my gosh! The end just killed me! But as I started and progressed with the poem, I grew more and more happy, all those images flying thru’ my head, thinking how my mom would have felt the same… and then came the end… so sad! 😦
I hope a mother never has to see her child die before her… I think it’s the WORST thing ever! So.. seriously, there are lots of unpleasant things in this world that one wouldn’t want to witness, but a mother watching her child die is REALLY the worst!!! 😦
This a heart wrenching, but a very very very beautiful poem, Hoiden… the poem (minus the end ofcourse) reminded me of a Tamil movie called “Abhiyum Naanum”.. But I must say, I liked your poem MUCH MUCH MORE than I ever liked the movie! And the movie was supposed to have been quite a hit too.. phew!
You rock, girl… Today on, I am officially your fan!!!
Love and hugs 🙂
#8 by hoiden on August 21, 2010 - 2:42 AM
Wow o wow…thanks a bunch kavita…wen i put this poem up i tot i’l be boring coz its so long…but tat hasnt happen so far…great…
yes i hope it doesnt happen to anyone…i read abt this in a book…i forget the title of the book…but the pain stuck with me n i wrote it….glad u liked it:)
i have seen Abiyum nanum…great movie..watched it with dad…need i say more???? smile…had a great time….
#9 by buttercup600 on August 20, 2010 - 12:12 AM
Wow, so sad when I started reading but you have portrayed it so beautifully until the last lines….. made me want to cry!!! Oh….I have goosebumps and don’t wish that to anyone!! You are such a wonderful poet and I admire your creativity more and more!!!! Love you lots xxx
#10 by moondustwriter on August 20, 2010 - 4:04 AM
It was beautiful my dear. So full of dreams enmeshed in sorrow
why does life have to be this way???
Love from the Moon
#11 by hoiden on August 21, 2010 - 2:42 AM
yes y s life unfair sometimes…
#12 by Rajlakshmi on August 20, 2010 - 12:06 PM
a very warm post… beautifully narrated 🙂
#13 by hoiden on August 21, 2010 - 2:42 AM
thanks:)
#14 by trisha on August 20, 2010 - 2:42 PM
how i wish it would not happen to any parent. a dreamy poem that ended with a deep sadness. beautifully written.
hope its not real.
#15 by hoiden on August 21, 2010 - 2:43 AM
i really wish no1 has this experience….
#16 by hoiden on August 21, 2010 - 2:43 AM
oh n its not real…just my imagination…thanks for asking:)
#17 by Artswebshow on August 20, 2010 - 11:54 PM
Profound, painful.
I think to pull this one off you needed a lot of words.
To pull the reader in and that give them such a twist.
Excellent poem
#18 by hoiden on August 21, 2010 - 2:44 AM
wow thank u…i was wondering if it wud become boring coz its so long….thanks for stopping by:)
#19 by tracyhsays on August 21, 2010 - 9:35 PM
Oh my god…you have touched me with this poem! I realize how blessed I am when I see my daughter all the way through this beautiful poem, and at the end I look to heaven with a tear in my eye…wow, this is powerful to me. Thank You so much for writing…
Tracy H
#20 by hoiden on August 22, 2010 - 2:41 PM
Thank u so much for the kind comment 🙂
#21 by DiamondsAndDogs on August 21, 2010 - 11:11 PM
This was beautifully written.
For you …http://randomthoughtsandmusings.wordpress.com/2010/08/21/thank-you-but-…nothing-to-say/
#22 by hoiden on August 22, 2010 - 2:42 PM
thank u:)
#23 by Jamie Dedes on August 30, 2010 - 3:35 AM
This is completely charming and memorable. Well done, Hoiden. Wonderful contribution to One Shot Wednesday …
#24 by Angela Cohan on September 20, 2010 - 2:26 AM
Wow!! What a beautifully written poem. I was engrossed in the story at the very start to have
my heart broken at the end.
all the best Hoiden,
Angela
#25 by hoiden on September 20, 2010 - 2:46 AM
thanks angela…
#26 by dustus on September 20, 2010 - 5:26 PM
OMG, such a beautiful poem that comes full circle. *sigh* oh life
#27 by Olivia on September 27, 2010 - 6:55 AM
http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/2010/09/monday-poetry-potluck-kings-queens-and.html
Hello, friend:
Monday Poetry Potluck Is NOW open, linking is open from Sunday 8pm to Tuesday, 8pm, welcome join us by linking in 1 to 3 poems, you could use an old poem, the more you share, the happier we are…hurry up!
Thanks in advance.
Hope to see you in our lovely potluck…
#28 by Olivia on September 27, 2010 - 6:56 AM
Surprising and yet sad end- I hope it was all in imagination.. and even then, it’s stabbing..
#29 by fiveloaf on October 3, 2010 - 6:44 PM
this is a very nice poem hoiden and i wonder where hv you been till i read your latest posting- anyway good luck to your exams and hv a nice day!