the Flickering Candle

The candle light flickered in the wind, half heartedly staying on. There is no sound from the expansive halls where once it was filled with clanking of bangles, tinkle of anklets,  laughter over a joke said, shouts of children playing in the hall, the footsteps of servants running errands. All that was till a week ago. The hall lay empty and barren, the two old souls were all that is left of the days of the old.

The house had been sold. The house was to be demolished as soon as night passes. Then they will have to leave. Leave where he had been born. Leave the only place she knew after her marriage. The home where their children and their children’s children were birthed and made their homes.

They had their share now. Nobody cared about the old structure of bricks and stone and the two lost souls. Lost in thoughts and grief, they leaned back in their chairs in the veranda. The candle gave a final splutter and died.

Yearning for peace

D mighty boom of the cannons

rent d air

grounds tat were once so lush and green

lay barren and gray

crimson pools spread abt

filled perennially

by d blood flowg off human bdies

So much is lost

but to  gain what?

Till death they are d patriots of the country

after death what is the difference

between friend and foe

the grief of human loss is d same

across borders and beliefs

Sadness

She smiles as they laugh around

But her beautiful eyes remain

Endless pools of sadness

They call themselves her friends

Yet they do not see

Past her confidence

That masks the hurt underneath

She catches me staring at her

And she gives me a smile

The same sad smile

No more…

In the darkness of the night

As I lay my head on my pillow

And the memories rush thro my head

I have no tears left to shed

For I have cried all I could

And said all that I should

Now all I can give

Is a twinge of my heart

And no more

Moving on…

i saw this pic on thatlittlesomthing.wordpress.com..

…thank u so much.this pic was my inspiration for this story n i hope u dont mind

She had cried so much when she heard Alan had cancer. Now she had no more tears to shed. She hadn’t cried at the funeral. Instead she stood by the coffin, telling goodbye to her long time friend and lover.

As she dangled her legs over the pier…she thought of the days she used to sit in the same spot talking with Alan, teasing him about his newest writings..how long ago it seemed…when it was barely a week.

People have gone back to their own lives, but her life was in stasis…waiting for her to make the first move.

She knew in time that she would but not now when the pain was too fresh…

She thought bitterly how much movies and Hollywood romanticized terminal illness…the protagonist would spend his last few days doing what he always wanted to do with his lady love and would die peacefully in her arms, with all his loved ones around him, promising to be together again in the next life…

How far from reality that was…

Cancer and the chemo with constant medications had drained Alan so much that it was difficult for him to stand much less go skiing in the alpines like in the movies. And there had been no dying peacefully either. She had watched helplessly as he moaned in intense pain clutching his stomach crying out for her help. And when his vitals almost  failed, his eyes blinded by agony had met hers for the last time…and he had died knowing he would never see her again..Pain has no dignity or grace…death even lesser…

No, she dint set much store for re-birth. That hope is for those who just cannot accept death. But she, she had seen death and knew there would be no return. And she wasn’t willing to believe otherwise even if they thought her a  cold-hearted bitch. Yes she hurt…so much that she would never be the same again. But in time this numbness and pain would fade and she would move on as everyone else…maybe even meet someone and get married and live a full and happy life…But for now she was content to sit by the pier near the house Alan had left her in his will.

While watching the sun moving closer to the horizon, she knew she would have to sell this house, her last physical reminder of him after sometime. For what use she had with this house when what or who attracted her to it no longer exists…

She knew she would never forget Alan, even if she moved on…pushed to the back of her mind and buried in new memories..yes…but when those memories come rushing back, he will  be there foremost in her thought…